What is a traditional wife?
- Jean Jackson
- 2 days ago
- 6 min read
This post is part of a series beginning with On the traditional role of women. If you haven't read that, I suggest you read it first to glean some context on why I am writing this post.
A traditional wife, as you might guess, is a woman who is married and chooses to stay at home full-time to dedicate herself to the affairs of running a household and childcare. That is, what women in the past traditionally set themselves up to become.
This has and continues to exist in many cultures across the globe, not just in Western or Anglo-Saxon cultures. I say this because, while many women have openly embraced this lifestyle and have taken to sharing their views on social media, this small movement has provoked some controversy and has somehow gotten associated with extreme right-wing views, and in particular white nationalism.
I could go on about this, but this isn't the point of my post. I just want to mention that I am cognisant of social media's interpretation of 'tradwives' and its growing notoriety. I'm not here to write about that. What I'm writing about has been in my mind even before I found out that 'tradwives' are a thing.
A Christian perspective
Growing up, I spent my formative years in an evangelical Christian setting. While this influenced my personality at the time, it did not form a lasting impact on my character. Nonetheless, it was during this time that I was exposed to lots and lots of Scripture, Bible verses we had to memorise, and chapters that warranted a special place in our lessons. (Because sola scriptura, of course.)
An unforgettable passage for me is the definition of 'the wife of noble character', found in Proverbs.
It's a timeless hallmark of what a traditional woman should aspire to be:
THE IDEAL WIFE Proverbs 31:10–31 (The New American Bible)
10 When one finds a worthy wife, her value is far beyond pearls. 11 Her husband, entrusting his heart to her, has an unfailing prize. 12 She brings him good, and not evil, all the days of her life. 13 She obtains wool and flax and makes cloth with skillful hands. 14 Like merchants ships, she secures her provisions from afar. 15 She rises while it is still night, and distributes food to her household. 16 She picks out a field to purchase; out of her earnings she plants a vineyard. 17 She girt about with strength; and sturdy are her arms. 18 She enjoys the success of her dealings; at night her lamp is undimmed. 19 She puts her hands to the distaff, and her fingers ply the spindle. 20 She reaches out her hands to the poor, and extends her arms to the needy. 21 She fears not the snow for her household; all her charges are doubly clothed. 22 She makes her own coverlets; fine linen and purple are her clothing. 23 Her husband is prominent at the city gates as he sits with the elders of the land. 24 She makes garments and sells them, and stocks the merchants with belts. 25 She is clothed with strength and dignity, and she laughs at the days to come. 26 She opens her mouth in wisdom, and on her tongue is kindly counsel 27 She watches the conduct of her household, and eats not her food in idleness. 28 Her children rise up and praise her; her husband, too, extols her: 29 'Many are the women of proven worth, but you have excelled them all.' 30 Charm is deceptive and beauty fleeting; the woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. 31 Give her a reward of her labours, and let her works praise her at the city gates.
Upon read-through, did any qualities that standd out to you? Here are a few key themes I picked up:
Management and domestic ability
A wife who's entrusted her husband's income and property does not squander it in little luxuries for herself. She is fully expected to run a household and meet the needs of all its members—to feed, clothe, shelter. She commands the household and watches over its members. While some translations of the passage makes it clear that she has servants, she also knows how to perform the tasks, herself.
Enterprise and prosperity
A few times it was emphasized that the wife participates in trade and commerce, providing goods to society and income to her household. She plants a vineyard, as well as grows wool and flax to weave into garments. In short, she manages her husband's estate. This should not come as a surprise, if you consider that the word 'economy' stems from two Greek words, roughly meaning 'management of the household'. [1][2]
You might also even consider that the traditional wife of centuries past did not stray too far from this quality—wives were expected to be skilful in sewing, mending, gardening, and other enterprises that today are considered domestic hobbies.
Finally, the passage does not seem to suggest that the wife be austere or miserly. She works just as hard as her husband to secure and provide for her household. I like the connotations of 'prosperity' compared to 'wealth'. Prosperity does not imply overabundance or excess, but a trend opposite to poverty and squalor.
Virtue and status
The passage decorates the wife in a myriad of virtues—strength, dignity, industry, charity, wisdom, and kindness. A lot of these do not surprise me at all, as these are Christian virtues.
When you think about it, the passage does not even mention her faithfulness to her husband or how devoted she should be towards him. The passage only mentions how lucky the husband is to find a woman like her!
A wife, simply by fulfilling her role in the household, elevates herself and her husband. She is 'praised at the city gates' just as much as her husband is, and her children look up to her. What parents today do not want to be a role model for their children?
Community and charity
Finally, the wife treats her charges with kindness and wisdom, and does not forget the poor. Aside from participating in commerce, she is also a part of her community and extends her hands to the needy. She can be relied on to provide loving counsel to those who may need it.
When I read through this passage, I see the image of a very capable woman who does not need a blazer or a hard hat to prove that she's empowered and not oppressed. I don't see an impossible role model, but someone who fully understands that the management of an estate is a full-time job requiring a wide range of skills, both technical and social.
Indeed, when done right, we find that a traditional wife isn't the unhappy 1950s picture of a woman who's bored and cannot apply herself, but a matriarch who holds sway in her family's enterprise—think of Eleanor Young in Crazy Rich Asians.
An Asian perspective
If we go oriental a bit, I want to share a personal favourite of the image of a traditional woman—the Japanese concept of yamato nadeshiko:
From TV Tropes:
'...a yamato nadeshiko is a "flower of Nipponese womanhood": a woman with attributes that were considered desirable in the neo-Confucian Japan of the nineteenth century and beyond... Being a yamato nadeshiko revolved around the Confucian concepts of feudal loyalty and filial piety, which [...] meant acting for the benefit of one's family and obeying and assisting authority figures (father, husband, sometimes father-in-law or older brothers, as well as older and/or more respected females).
'Virtues include loyalty, domestic ability, wisdom, maturity, and humility.
'Don't let her gentle demeanor fool you; the nadeshiko is a wildflower at heart. A properly done yamato nadeshiko will show a subtle, but definitely present, touch of iron in that she is unwilling to let circumstances hurt the ones she cares about or distract her from her goals or missions. This is often accomplished so subtly that the target isn't certain how things got redirected... Older yamato nadeshiko are better at this, while a younger one will make up for it in determination—especially when it comes to the man she loves.'
When I think on my personal goals, aspirations, and the values I perceive to be desirable, I do seem to come to the same conclusion. I want to be a traditional woman. I want to be a traditional wife. When I say these things, I'm referring to the qualities you've just read.
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